The End of the School Year...
THIS TIME OF YEAR SUCKS!!!!!!! It's such a rough time. There are all these expectations from everyone and myself to do well in school. I don't want any Bs in any of my classes because I want to get a chance at Valedictorian. That's like the main goal of my high school career is to get Valedictorian or AT LEAST Salutatorian. I'm not going to waste this whole school year of working my butt off by getting a B!
There are other things going on, like my faith. Being so involved with "The Battle" is so hard. I've just barely become a Christian and I'm worried to death about things that I'm going to have to sacrifice for God that I don't want to even come close to sacrificing. Like Trevor. If I go to the internship at Teen Mania after high school I'll have to give him up for that year at least. But who knows what we're gonna feel after that year? Where are we gonna go to college after that year? Will we have other love interests? I know that everything will work out for the better if I just trust God with it and understand that what God wants needs to go before what I want, but it's these uncertainties that make me want to scream. I want to spend my life with the guy! I don't know if that's going to happen. I can't say that it is going to happen and I can't make it happen if it's not going to and if it's not God's Will. But I love him so much. It's such a pain in my rear! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I love God more though... so it will have to happen if I decide to do that internship, which is a big possibility. At least I have three years to warm up to the idea. And I don't even know for sure if Trevor and I will last all the way through high school... but I like to hope so, and it's something I will pray for. This is the only really serious relationship I've ever had, and it's the only reason I was led to Christ and pulled out of the huge hole that I had dug for myself and was beginning to get buried in.
Sweet Adelines is also a pain the rear. We don't have enough members and it seems that as soon as we get a new one they leave! We have a BIG performance in three weeks and people are having a hard time showing up to practice when we desperately need them there. I have to memorize my lines very soon here and I have to find a bright green wig somewhere... don't ask. I don't know how great it is going to be, but I really hope it rocks the house... the show that is. Not the wig.
I am also writing a song for study skills. It's hard. I'm so close to being done though, so I can't give up. I've figured out the harmony part and I need to write in the notes on the sheet music, but I'm too lathargic to do so. I also need to teach my mom the harmony part and we need to practice it together and record it so I can turn all of this stuff in by May 15. It's May 4... AHHHH!!!! THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO IN SO LITTLE TIME!!!
Swimming is also going to start very soon. I don't know when it's going to start, but it's going to be soon. And I also need to get a job this summer so that I can pay for my car insurance when I finally get my license and the car to go with it. And I need a car desperately. I'm sick of making my parents drive me around everywhere. It's a pain. I make my mom late for work every morning because I'm too mentally exhausted to get moving in the morning. I don't know how I'm gonna pay for my gas when I finally do get a car. There is way too much to do. I also need to find some time to practice my piano... but there's NONE. There is literally none. Not having enough time used to be the lie I used... NOW IT'S THE TRUTH!! And it sucks because my teacher wants me to start memorizing music, which is DEFINITELY something I need to start doing. But I don't have enough time to practice!
I have a ton of online profiles that I need to check but I don't have time to get on the computer. There are too many things to do, too many expectations, too many requirements, too many things that MUST be done THIS MONTH RIGHT NOW BECAUSE EVERYBODY WANTS IT!!!! I'm about ready to have a total and complete explosion and just quit everything. But I can't. I must go on. I must endure.
Well, after reading this entry, I'm sure that those of you who read it are just as stressed out as I am, and I believe I have covered pretty much everything that's on my mind right now. I need to go, goodbye!
God Bless!
~Sarah~
There are other things going on, like my faith. Being so involved with "The Battle" is so hard. I've just barely become a Christian and I'm worried to death about things that I'm going to have to sacrifice for God that I don't want to even come close to sacrificing. Like Trevor. If I go to the internship at Teen Mania after high school I'll have to give him up for that year at least. But who knows what we're gonna feel after that year? Where are we gonna go to college after that year? Will we have other love interests? I know that everything will work out for the better if I just trust God with it and understand that what God wants needs to go before what I want, but it's these uncertainties that make me want to scream. I want to spend my life with the guy! I don't know if that's going to happen. I can't say that it is going to happen and I can't make it happen if it's not going to and if it's not God's Will. But I love him so much. It's such a pain in my rear! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I love God more though... so it will have to happen if I decide to do that internship, which is a big possibility. At least I have three years to warm up to the idea. And I don't even know for sure if Trevor and I will last all the way through high school... but I like to hope so, and it's something I will pray for. This is the only really serious relationship I've ever had, and it's the only reason I was led to Christ and pulled out of the huge hole that I had dug for myself and was beginning to get buried in.
Sweet Adelines is also a pain the rear. We don't have enough members and it seems that as soon as we get a new one they leave! We have a BIG performance in three weeks and people are having a hard time showing up to practice when we desperately need them there. I have to memorize my lines very soon here and I have to find a bright green wig somewhere... don't ask. I don't know how great it is going to be, but I really hope it rocks the house... the show that is. Not the wig.
I am also writing a song for study skills. It's hard. I'm so close to being done though, so I can't give up. I've figured out the harmony part and I need to write in the notes on the sheet music, but I'm too lathargic to do so. I also need to teach my mom the harmony part and we need to practice it together and record it so I can turn all of this stuff in by May 15. It's May 4... AHHHH!!!! THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO IN SO LITTLE TIME!!!
Swimming is also going to start very soon. I don't know when it's going to start, but it's going to be soon. And I also need to get a job this summer so that I can pay for my car insurance when I finally get my license and the car to go with it. And I need a car desperately. I'm sick of making my parents drive me around everywhere. It's a pain. I make my mom late for work every morning because I'm too mentally exhausted to get moving in the morning. I don't know how I'm gonna pay for my gas when I finally do get a car. There is way too much to do. I also need to find some time to practice my piano... but there's NONE. There is literally none. Not having enough time used to be the lie I used... NOW IT'S THE TRUTH!! And it sucks because my teacher wants me to start memorizing music, which is DEFINITELY something I need to start doing. But I don't have enough time to practice!
I have a ton of online profiles that I need to check but I don't have time to get on the computer. There are too many things to do, too many expectations, too many requirements, too many things that MUST be done THIS MONTH RIGHT NOW BECAUSE EVERYBODY WANTS IT!!!! I'm about ready to have a total and complete explosion and just quit everything. But I can't. I must go on. I must endure.
Well, after reading this entry, I'm sure that those of you who read it are just as stressed out as I am, and I believe I have covered pretty much everything that's on my mind right now. I need to go, goodbye!
God Bless!
~Sarah~
posted by The Fri at 8:19 AM
3 Comments:
B R E A T H E .
Yeah, definitely got stressed out reading that one.
That sucks that you have so much to do you just have to relax hope you get through it all and hope that you get valedictorian (spelling) just have as much fun as you can over the summer hope to see ya soo TTYL Bri >:D
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