Summer of the Singing Chicken Breasts: Part 2
Note: I have recently discovered that there is another person who reads my blog but is unable to comment, and she enjoys my stories, giving me reason to continue posting them. I will just keep posting the old ones that nobody has really seen before except for the only people who read my blog until I have come up with a sufficient plot for "We Love the Moon: A Play off of Summer of the Singing Chicken Breasts." There probably won't be more than one part to that story because by then, everybody will be sufficiently sick of singing food and will want some better material. Anyway, enjoy part two, if you haven't already....
Last time on "Summer of the Singing Chicken Breasts": "We love the subs!! ‘Cause they are good to us!!! The Quizno’s subs!!! They are tasty, they are crunchy, they are warm, because they toast them!!! THEY GOT A PEPPER BAR!! EAT QUIZNO’S SUBS!!!"... "Oh my word, that tune is annoying. Yes, I know, it’s really annoying. I can’t get that song out of my head. Make it stop, that tune is annoying, and I gotta go to work in the morning, and I’ll just end up humming in my bed,"... "Why is there a chicken breast AND YOUR BLOODY ARM ON THE FLOOR!? WHY ARE YOU FOAMING AT THE MOUTH!?!?!"... "Happy birthday, Mr. President!!!"... "All hail the king, Cork the Orc!!"... "Cork hopped up onto the bed, and turned Bob into an orc."...
Now, continuing with our story, Bob was now the king of chicken breasts, Bob the Orc, but we will continue to affectionately call him Bob, because under the vicious orc hide, was the crazy maniac with a lisp, Bobby. He hopped out of his hospital bed, and growled. It was an annoying growl, very much like a little kid pretending to become a satanic demon. Cork said,
"You have much to learn, future king. You cannot be the king of chicken breasts until you learn how to properly growl, and you have to be respectable, despite the fact that you are now a vicious, flesh-eating orc. Now we must begin your training. The first step is learning proper etiquette while fighting an opponent."
Over the next couple of weeks, Bob learned many things about being polite while fighting. He learned that you are not supposed to fight unless a chicken breast(s) is/are being harmed, and he learned that you should not hit below the belt, because no one deserves that. There are many more rules for orc fighting– such as, you are not allowed to fight without being challenged– but there are too many to write here; it would take years.
One day, after Bob had gone through the proper initiation ceremony to become king, the chicken breasts came to him with an illegal request. As they bowed, they said,
"Your highness, we are faced with a problem that is impossible for us to solve without your guidance and wisdom."
"What might this problem be?" asked Bob.
"You see your highness, our band, the one that originally played ‘Quizno’s’ and ‘The Annoying’, was number one on the Billboard Charts last week. Then, on Monday, a brand new band beat us to the top with their never ending single, ‘Badger, Mushroom, Snake’. We would like to request that you kill them, so that we..."
"WHAT!? YOU WANT ME TO BREAK MY OWN LAWS AND FIGHT WHEN YOU AREN’T IN PHYSICAL DANGER AND WHEN I AM NOT BEING DIRECTLY CHALLENGED; AT YOUR REQUEST!??!! DO YOU THINK I’M A FOOL?!! DO YOU THINK I AM STUPID ENOUGH TO DO THAT?!!" The chicken breasts were so scared. They couldn’t handle his anger.
"ANSWER ME!!!!!!!" screamed Bob.
"N-n-no your h-highness, y-you are n-not st-st-st-stupid. I apologize for wasting your time." The chicken breasts stood up, and while staring at the floor, began walking out the door.
"Wait, I can still help you. Bring the badgers to me," said Bob.
The chicken breasts did not understand why Bob would want to meet the badgers. They were terrible people, or rather, badgers. But they did as they were told. They went to the lair of the badgers, and spoke to the all mighty king, Mr. Snakey, the pet of a little girl. They didn’t tell him that they wanted to beat his band to the top of the charts of course, but they did tell him that Bob the Orc wanted them to perform for him, which was a lie. Mr. Snakey said,
"Very well, but I shall accompany the badgers on their trip. A couple of years ago, Cork the Orc tried to take over our kingdom; I want to make sure that Bob the Orc’s intentions are pure." So the chicken breasts, badgers, and Mr. Snakey left and went to Bob’s kingdom.
As they entered, Mr. Snakey realized that Bob was much bigger than him, and was intimidated, and shook as he stared up at the formidable Bob. Bob said,
"Hello Mr. Snakey. What brings you to my demented kingdom of chicken breasts? Please do not be afraid."
Then Trevor walked in and said to Joseph, "How dare you insult my supremeness!! I shall challenge you to a duel!" Joseph then shrunk into a little ant, and Trevor simply stepped on him, and Sarah laughed really hard as she was writing the story. Now that Joseph was a floor mat, Trevor left the story, and Sarah was satisfied with defending her friend* from the evils of snide comments. Bob then said,
"Hmm...that was interesting. Anyway, what was it that you wanted, Mr. Snakey?"
"Well, I wanted to accompany my badgers to your kingdom and watch them perform for you."
"May I please have a talk with my chicken breasts before we begin?"
"Very well."
Bob took the chicken breasts aside and said, "You fools! Their song is never ending!! We will die before it ends!! I never asked you to get them to perform, just to bring them to me!! Your race will now die, and it’s all your fault."
At this point, Sarah decided that she had to end the chicken breasts story, because all good things must end, just as she must leave Craver, and move on, and frankly, this is getting rather boring.
The badgers began chanting, "Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, bagder, MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM!! Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM!!! Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM!! SNAKE!! A SNAKE!! OH, IT’S A SNAKE!!! Badger, badger, badger..." They continued like this until everybody died. I do believe that this is the end...
*May the reader note that this story was written about 2 and a half months before the author and Trevor himself began dating, thus, giving Trevor the label of just a "friend" in the story.
Last time on "Summer of the Singing Chicken Breasts": "We love the subs!! ‘Cause they are good to us!!! The Quizno’s subs!!! They are tasty, they are crunchy, they are warm, because they toast them!!! THEY GOT A PEPPER BAR!! EAT QUIZNO’S SUBS!!!"... "Oh my word, that tune is annoying. Yes, I know, it’s really annoying. I can’t get that song out of my head. Make it stop, that tune is annoying, and I gotta go to work in the morning, and I’ll just end up humming in my bed,"... "Why is there a chicken breast AND YOUR BLOODY ARM ON THE FLOOR!? WHY ARE YOU FOAMING AT THE MOUTH!?!?!"... "Happy birthday, Mr. President!!!"... "All hail the king, Cork the Orc!!"... "Cork hopped up onto the bed, and turned Bob into an orc."...
Now, continuing with our story, Bob was now the king of chicken breasts, Bob the Orc, but we will continue to affectionately call him Bob, because under the vicious orc hide, was the crazy maniac with a lisp, Bobby. He hopped out of his hospital bed, and growled. It was an annoying growl, very much like a little kid pretending to become a satanic demon. Cork said,
"You have much to learn, future king. You cannot be the king of chicken breasts until you learn how to properly growl, and you have to be respectable, despite the fact that you are now a vicious, flesh-eating orc. Now we must begin your training. The first step is learning proper etiquette while fighting an opponent."
Over the next couple of weeks, Bob learned many things about being polite while fighting. He learned that you are not supposed to fight unless a chicken breast(s) is/are being harmed, and he learned that you should not hit below the belt, because no one deserves that. There are many more rules for orc fighting– such as, you are not allowed to fight without being challenged– but there are too many to write here; it would take years.
One day, after Bob had gone through the proper initiation ceremony to become king, the chicken breasts came to him with an illegal request. As they bowed, they said,
"Your highness, we are faced with a problem that is impossible for us to solve without your guidance and wisdom."
"What might this problem be?" asked Bob.
"You see your highness, our band, the one that originally played ‘Quizno’s’ and ‘The Annoying’, was number one on the Billboard Charts last week. Then, on Monday, a brand new band beat us to the top with their never ending single, ‘Badger, Mushroom, Snake’. We would like to request that you kill them, so that we..."
"WHAT!? YOU WANT ME TO BREAK MY OWN LAWS AND FIGHT WHEN YOU AREN’T IN PHYSICAL DANGER AND WHEN I AM NOT BEING DIRECTLY CHALLENGED; AT YOUR REQUEST!??!! DO YOU THINK I’M A FOOL?!! DO YOU THINK I AM STUPID ENOUGH TO DO THAT?!!" The chicken breasts were so scared. They couldn’t handle his anger.
"ANSWER ME!!!!!!!" screamed Bob.
"N-n-no your h-highness, y-you are n-not st-st-st-stupid. I apologize for wasting your time." The chicken breasts stood up, and while staring at the floor, began walking out the door.
"Wait, I can still help you. Bring the badgers to me," said Bob.
The chicken breasts did not understand why Bob would want to meet the badgers. They were terrible people, or rather, badgers. But they did as they were told. They went to the lair of the badgers, and spoke to the all mighty king, Mr. Snakey, the pet of a little girl. They didn’t tell him that they wanted to beat his band to the top of the charts of course, but they did tell him that Bob the Orc wanted them to perform for him, which was a lie. Mr. Snakey said,
"Very well, but I shall accompany the badgers on their trip. A couple of years ago, Cork the Orc tried to take over our kingdom; I want to make sure that Bob the Orc’s intentions are pure." So the chicken breasts, badgers, and Mr. Snakey left and went to Bob’s kingdom.
As they entered, Mr. Snakey realized that Bob was much bigger than him, and was intimidated, and shook as he stared up at the formidable Bob. Bob said,
"Hello Mr. Snakey. What brings you to my demented kingdom of chicken breasts? Please do not be afraid."
Then Trevor walked in and said to Joseph, "How dare you insult my supremeness!! I shall challenge you to a duel!" Joseph then shrunk into a little ant, and Trevor simply stepped on him, and Sarah laughed really hard as she was writing the story. Now that Joseph was a floor mat, Trevor left the story, and Sarah was satisfied with defending her friend* from the evils of snide comments. Bob then said,
"Hmm...that was interesting. Anyway, what was it that you wanted, Mr. Snakey?"
"Well, I wanted to accompany my badgers to your kingdom and watch them perform for you."
"May I please have a talk with my chicken breasts before we begin?"
"Very well."
Bob took the chicken breasts aside and said, "You fools! Their song is never ending!! We will die before it ends!! I never asked you to get them to perform, just to bring them to me!! Your race will now die, and it’s all your fault."
At this point, Sarah decided that she had to end the chicken breasts story, because all good things must end, just as she must leave Craver, and move on, and frankly, this is getting rather boring.
The badgers began chanting, "Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, bagder, MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM!! Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM!!! Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM!! SNAKE!! A SNAKE!! OH, IT’S A SNAKE!!! Badger, badger, badger..." They continued like this until everybody died. I do believe that this is the end...
*May the reader note that this story was written about 2 and a half months before the author and Trevor himself began dating, thus, giving Trevor the label of just a "friend" in the story.
posted by The Fri at 5:35 PM
5 Comments:
Who is this other person you speak of? I must have a word with them. Just kidding, but I do agree you should try for something without singing food. At least you post on your blog!
Wow, that's quite a story! I really enjoyed it though. It would make a great cartoon soap opera. I also admire your writing style.
To Erika: The other person is the new Brianna. She really likes the weird random stuff. lol. As soon as I am done with this stuff I will post something without singing food. How does singing animals sound? lol, jk. I'll post some of my poems on here.
To Mayerle: Thank you for your kind comment. I haven't met you before but I'm positive that you are Erika's friend so I'm sure you are safe. lol. I'm a little paranoid about interenet stalkers because I have a lot of stuff on the net... lol. See ya!
~Sarah~
I do consider myself to be Erika's friend and hope that she will not dispute that. I also consider myself relatively safe (but you never know, I can get pretty dangerous when given a hand held pencil sharpener...long story). I understand what you mean about stalkers (though I would be very uninteresting for anyone to stalk).
so curley fri you are now talking about me on the internet well fine then be that way after all these years of me not knowing you and this is the thanks i get neways jk so TTYL Bri >:D
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